The Beth Moore Patriarchs study I’ve been working through with friends came to its conclusion tonight.  In a sense, anyway, because the theme of the video lesson was how God does not “tie it all up” for now, but rather “ties it all in.”  I say Amen to that, sister.  There’s not a one of us that went through the study together that hasn’t been changed by it, and each in quite a different way but all left tonight with a sense of expectancy.  God doesn’t take you down deep to the roots of yourself to come back up and climb into a hammock for a while.  Like Jacob, the more we find ourself wrestling, the more certain we can be that there is a blessing at the end of it.  And I have found that a blessing always brings a requirement that it be used in some way, not hoarded and savored in private.

On the surface of things, I have my Tuesday nights free again.  So I am keeping them free and am trading in Mondays and the occasional Wednesday on Zumba classes instead.  On the surface of things, it looks like a rather flip decision.  “OK, I’ve drunk my fill of the spiritual stuff for now, let’s tone up and have some fun instead.”  That would be tying it all up.  But instead, He’s tying it all in.  I’ve written here before that I believe God has brought people and research into my life over the last year to lead up to a major overhaul in my approach to food in the past weeks.  I also believe my participation in the study, and the deep and sometimes painful struggles I’ve wrestled with were part of God’s design for me to acknowledge my weakness and therefore revel in His strength. My dinner plate has been laid on the same altar as my self-image, my skills, and my hopes and dreams – a release of self and a faith He will fulfill His powerful purpose in me.

So tomorrow, I will lay down my laziness as well.  I don’t expect to suffer too dreadfully; I will be with friends and I anticipate a good amount of giggling.  And I love to dance, although I lack any measurable skill.  But I am a girl of coziness and comfort, and I have only ever seen exercise as something to endure. Because it’s Good For Me.  Which it is, but in ways I am only beginning to understand.  Already after a few weeks of sugar-free, gluten-free, preservative-free diet, I have started to feel that lift in energy.  It’s physical yes, but also spiritual.  I am excited to see where I may end up.  And I am tasting the sweetness of obedience, the freedom of submission.  So while I won’t have my Bible in hand while I step it and shake it, I believe it will be an act of worship.

I look forward to being my ideal weight one day.  I’m excited about feeling stronger, fitter, less self-conscious.  But above all, I believe that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).  And that good work, for every single one of us, includes being His instrument to share His light and hope and love with others.  That’s an enormous job, a race of true endurance.  I need to be ready.  And I’m on the road, one merengue at a time!