My goodness, my last draft on here stalled out back in January. The only explanation I can come up with is that as my body was busy at work creating, my mind just couldn’t keep up. So the nutshell version of the last few months: a healthy but high-risk pregnancy led in mid-July to an urgent but not quite emergency C-section where I delivered a healthy, beautiful baby girl. And for the past 6 weeks, J and I have been in utter awe of this little creature who has completely taken over our lives.

So to break through this writer’s block I’ve been locked in, here are a few things I’ve learned as a new parent:

1) Let. It. Go. It’s completely understandable to go into pregnancy and parenthood with a plan, but don’t hold onto it too tightly. Your delivery will almost assuredly not go strictly according to plan, your baby will have a mind of her own when it comes to schedules and needs, and your theories will be seriously tested. So, you can spend time grieving over how it didn’t go, or you can sail on, focusing on your blessings.

2) Say you’re sorry. Unless you’re a certified, miracle-slinging saint, you and your spouse are going to be under a good bit of sleep-deprived, heavy-responsibility, Lord-please-don’t-let-me-ruin-her stress. It’s so easy to snap, feel misunderstood, or perhaps even secretly keep score on who’s had more sleep or changed more diapers. Or at least it is for me, but I’m fairly confident I’m not alone here. So if you have a less than glorious moment, say you’re sorry quickly, clear the air, and move on. (And if you’re on the receiving end of the apology, accept it just as quickly.)

3) Pray. God is present; you are not alone. He is with you in the wee small hours when you think you’re surely the only person in the world up walking the halls trying to soothe your baby. He’s there when you put your head down and cry because you’re starving, your baby is screaming for a bottle, you have to go to the bathroom, and you’ll explode if you don’t get to your breast pump and it’s all happening RIGHT NOW. He trusted this little life to your care, and He will strengthen you and give you peace for the task. And when your baby sighs contentedly into your neck or gives you that first smile, praise Him for the miracle!

4) Accept help. And if it isn’t offered at that particular moment, ask for it. Speaking as the mom, you’ve just been through the long months of pregnancy, you’re recovering from childbirth, your hormones are upside-down, you’re euphoric, exhausted, and possibly terrified, all at the same time, and you’re new at this. And on a serious note, if you sense you’re moving past tired and into postpartum depression, get professional help. Suffering in silence isn’t noble, it’s dangerous to you and your baby.

5) Keep it simple. The baby retail industry is a formidable machine. Pinterest can convince you all good moms handcraft every item of clothing, nursery decor, and baby food simultaneously. Your friends, with good intentions, all believe that what they have is exactly what you need to also get. But really, your baby needs a source of nutrition, a clean bottom, safe transportation, and lots of love and cuddles. All the parts, props, and accessories are fine if you enjoy them, but most of it really isn’t necessary. Oh, and according to my not-quite-scientific research, breast wipes, pacifier wipes, and boogie wipes are all the exact same thing in different packaging with different prices. For what that’s worth.

So I’m learning and growing, right along with my precious little P. Everyone kept telling us (and why is it no one can resist imparting this advice?), “Things will never be the same once she’s here!” My response was always, “Good, that’s why we’re having her!” We didn’t want to stay the same anymore. So I am mindful of that, and prayerful over it and thankful for it. I had nearly 33 years of living life on my terms and then another 8 of learning to merge into a marriage, but even there, it was not difficult to continue to pursue our own interests.

But there was an understanding that had grown between us that we wanted to be part of something bigger in life than our own hobbies. This tiny little person who has invaded our hearts has already begun to accomplish that, and even in areas where it’s difficult, we are looking forward to being more active, more responsible, and, ultimately, more fulfilled.